Just another day...

Today I...

got out of bed

stubbed my toe on the bathroom wall

after saying "OW!" out loud, realized I had a sore throat

spent 15 minutes deciding what to wear

stared at my shoe rack for 10 additional minutes

brushed my teeth

put on my makeup

changed my clothes

asked husband if I should wear hair down or up - he said down

I put my hair up

changed my shoes

switched out my purses to match my outfit

made up the bed with husband

picked up dirty clothes and hangers

picked up trash from Christmas on my bedroom floor

realized I'd been up for 45 minutes and had not made it out of my bedroom yet

went downstairs to eat breakfast

stared in the fridge for 5 minutes

decided to skip breakfast

marked off my to-do list "eat breakfast"

started a load of laundry

marked off my to-do list "start laundry"

picked up clutter all over downstairs

marked off my to-do list "pick up clutter"

straightened askew living room furniture

wondered why I had to straighten askew living room furniture

eyeballed the dogs

let them out to potty

watched dogs potty

started washing dishes

remembered I have 4 children

called children downstairs to wash dishes

joyfully marked off to-do list "wash dishes" 

broke up a cat fight between big black cat and calico cat

put big black cat outside

let little black cat inside

held and pet little black cat

realized it rained last night

sighed heavily

dried little black cat off

changed clothes

switched out purses again to match new outfit

decided to go to movies with kids and husband

husband said hurry

kids go same speed as always but say they ARE hurrying

husband asked children to find all 4-legged creatures and put them outside

found 3 of the 5 creatures

remembered 1 was already outside

found 5th creature - pried her off satin vanity stool

mission accomplished

we gathered at the front door

husband gets phone call

I say don't answer

he answered

we waited 20 minutes

kids scatter and are lost

saw grass from outside in the foyer

it annoyed me

got broom and swept entire downstairs

marked off my to-do list "sweep downstairs"

husband hangs up phone

located children with tracking device (i.e. snacks)

opened front door

karate chopped and ninja kicked animals away from door

piled in the car

fussed about seating arrangement

husband lost

drove to Sherman

went to eat at Olive Garden

ate something I have not eaten in years

remembered why I had forbidden myself to eat it in the first place

vowed never to eat it again

blamed lack of control on "that time of the month"

felt justified

went to see Marley & Me

laughed 

cried

laughed some more

cried some more

guy next to me told me he had kleenex for sale 2 for $1

I laughed

secretly scowled at man next to me

tried not to cry again

left the movies

husband went to work

made weekly menu

made Wal-Mart list

organized cookbook shelf

found food magazine I had not looked through yet

read food magazine

changed weekly menu

made new Wal-Mart list

fed children dinner

told children to watch TV

sat on couch to relax

heard strange and very loud noises upstairs

asked 4 children what was going on

got 4 different answers

asked politely if they would stop

heard 3 "yes ma'am's" and a "yes sir"

sat on couch and tried to relax again

made to-do list for tomorrow

heard running upstairs

asked children if they were running from Sasquatch

got no reply

asked children if Sasquatch ate them

heard "who's Sassy Squash?"

told children to be quiet or I was Sassy Squash and would eat them

decided trying to relax was useless

laid out food for tomorrow to thaw

remembered I am out of milk, eggs, potatoes, basically anything worthy of cooking a meal with

decided to lay out my clothes for tomorrow to try and save time in the morning

laughed at myself

put clothes back in closet

wondered why I do that

contemplated it being a disease and wondered if it had a name or a pill

realized it wouldn't matter because I'd be in denial that I even had a disease in the first place

decided to go to bed

sent children to bed first

1 hour passed before all 4 children were located and secured

changed into pj's

began reading new book husband got me for Christmas

heard scratching and big black cat meowing outside

got out of warm bed

let big black cat in

dog rushed out

watched dog go potty

let dog in

dog wanted treat

tried to find treats

gave dog last mini blueberry muffin instead

wondered where that was this morning for breakfast

got back in now cold bed

picked up book again

big black cat jumped on bed 

big black cat laid in front of book - blocked view

big black cat drooled on book

I put book down

turned out lights

little black cat jumped on bed, annoyed big black cat

made cats get off bed

listened to cats play-fight for 30 minutes

contemplated how wonderful my life is

smiled

cried

thanked my Heavenly Father