Missed

Missed, originally uploaded by cmason79.

Ozon F. Hodges
1934-2007
US Army Korean War Veteran

Summertime Entrepreneurship at its cutest!

I guess summer has quite [un]officially arrived with the itch to host a bake sale. My girls came to me yesterday begging to take them to the store to buy some things for making goodies to sell at their grandma's house today.
So, being the good mommy I am (patting self on back) I obliged.
Here's the finished products. Whatcha think?

Brownies that were so moist they melted in your mouth.

Petite Princess cupcakes.

Cranberry Coconut Cupcakes

Mini "blueberry" and "cherry" pies.

Are these not so stinking cute?!

French fries and ketchup (toasted pound cake sticks and mini vanilla cupcakes with red icing).

Way to go girls! I hope you make your money back and millions more!

Wordless Wednesdays: "There Goes My Life..."

There Goes My Life..., originally uploaded by cmason79.

Post It Note Tuesday

And the battle rages on...

Do you remember my latest victory over the Devil's Warehouse, I mean, Wal-Mart?
Well guess what?!
There's a new leader in command and I just made a new law:
Starting now and from henceforth Wal-Mart shall bow down before me when I should thenceforth enter its realm and shall hand over to me all its possessions that I should demand at the absolute lowest price conceiveable to man. At which point, I will exercise my authority to shave from off that lowest conceiveable price another shilling's worth! Maybe 2 depending on my mood.
Storming the iron gates of the fortress and this time armed with double the ads and triple the coupons I mercilessly attacked each individual aisle and refrigerator bin. I found treasure after treasure that I could call my own "at the lowest price - guaranteed".
I have been trying to save money this past year, as I explained in the preview post of this saga. Not too long ago when I had chillins in diapers that needed formula every hour on the hour I had been spending almost $300 a week. Now that those are nostalgic pasttimes, my grocery bill has decreased to around $200.
I still want it lower.
My most recent goal has been to spend, for our family of 6, only $100-$150 a week.
And if I keep on with my tyrannical raids, I may just acheive that! (Although, I do feel somewhat guilty [not really] considering I overheard the manager say to the employees during the early morning pep rally in the milk aisle [why do they do that anyway?] that sales were down last week. I had to control myself from completely destroying their sovereign of hope by telling them that sales will be even worse this week thanks to my invasion.)

This time I went shopping for 2 weeks worth of groceries...
My total before coupons was: $304.75
My grand total after coupons and comparison ads, *drum roll, please*: $250.27!!
[proceeds to do spazzy dance]

And with everything I got, I may very well make it work for a full 3 weeks.
In the words of the circus train from Dumbo, "I think I can, I think I can..."
So I went and got my hair done...for the first time in 6 months.
You know how much it cost me?
$50
Thanks to my pillaging and plundering it was basically FREE!
And you know what else?
It. Felt. Dang. Good!

Grand Slam Luck

Grand Slam Luck, originally uploaded by cmason79.

Just playing around with my photos on flickr.com! Love that site!

Good Luck

Good Luck 2, originally uploaded by cmason79.

Wordless Wednesday "Good Luck for a Grand Slam"

Clip and Conquer!

I've known all along that Wal-Mart honors other grocery store ads and coupons.
So, why am I just now taking advantage of it?!
I am so bad about just rushing in to that store just to rush around to get everything I need so I can rush my way back OUT.
Mr. Simpleton calls it the Devil's Warehouse.
I concur.
I've always wanted to try harder at saving money here and there by clipping coupons, buying the off-brands, going to different stores to buy certain items because their sale was better. I've even bought this nifty little book about penny-pinching, which once I sit down to read it, may prove very helpful.
But I always talked myself out of all those things because I was in too big of a hurry to have time to clip coupons let alone to go galavanting all over town to different stores. Or I'd argue that I had all 4 of my children with me and it was just too convenient NOT to buy all of my family's weekly needs in that one-stop-shopping circus.
However, yesterday I remembered some of my New Year's Resolutions, one of which was to save money and be more frugal. So, off to the kitchen to fetch the scissors and Sunday newspaper I valliantly went. I yanked the insert out to see if I could find any good deals when out fell also the competitor ads.
With that one piece of intel from the Inside Mole I knew that today, today would be a grocery shopping victory for me. (I can hear my theme song in the background: "They. will. not. controoool. uuuss. We. will. be. Vic-TOOORR-iouuus!" And if I had a good pre-battle monologue, I'd give it now. Yet, I digress...)

Armed with various newspaper promo ads from the Sunday paper and my checkbook, I stormed the Halls of Wal-Mart and overthrew the cashier lady with coupons upon coupons and ads from Walgreens and Dollar General, never once showing even an ounce of mercy despite her cries of pitiful, mournful dismay!
She didn't stand a chance.
My army plundered that store like it's never been plundered and took back to our homeland $8, which was rightfully ours to begin with!
Justice was served and all was well in the Land of Mason that springtime afternoon.

(Ok, ok. So, $8 isn't like a mound of golden nuggets or the Holy Grail or anything but hey! it's extra to put in my GNO jar!! Holla!)

What Were They Thinking?

Have you ever seen anything like this?!
Probably.
But I bet the dancers were in their 20s and didn't have to have approval from their moms to do it!
This video has sparked an outbreak of debate and controversy from people all over claiming things like:
"It's ridiculous! Why would a mother let their daughter participate in such an offensive routine?"
and
"This is SAD. Shame on all the adults that played a part in this!"
to comments like:
"I honestly don't see the huge deal about this? Yeah, their dressed kind of trashy, and their dancing is too old for their age, but seriously, its a dance competition. Its not like they wear those outfits daily in public or dance like that."

Ok.
*takes a deep breath, steps onto soapbox*

Has our society become so simple-minded that all we can think about is sex and sexiness?
Do we honestly feel the need to shove that image off on to our little girls and boys because it's the norm? Because this is pop culture? And for what? Lack of creativity? Lack of imagination? I would hope not! I'm not about to put any blame on those little girls for the way they danced or dressed. They just did what they were taught. And being a dancer myself, I will say this: They were amazing and despite the few bumps and bobbles here and there, I would imagine they went on to win that competition. They possess wonderful skill and talent and I would hope they would continue on with that.
However, shame on their mothers for allowing a dance instructor to even suggest putting their daughters in such an age-inappropriate situation! And double shame for actually doing it!
I'm not as concerned with the costumes, so much as I was the dancing. They showed too much skin, yes. But as a dancer, I understand you want non-restricted movement, especially for some of the difficult leg lifts/holds they were doing. Could they have come up with less revealing outfits that gave the same less restrictive effect? If they had used their brain to get creative, absolutely!
Again, the dancing, that's what bothers me. These little girls from Orange County, CA are, according to the post, 7-9 years old. We're told they're in FIRST GRADE...and they are on stage in a world dance competition bumping and grinding.
Granted, they probably have no idea what they're doing.
But I do.
And it's offensive.
Not necessarily the dance itself. I've seen Beyonce do it. (Although, as hindsight is 20/20, I've realized just how desensitized even I have become to such things). But when I see these little innocent girls get up on stage performing a robotically calculated dance that displays a message I don't ever want any first grader, let alone my own, to be shouting to the world in any form or in any arena, that's when I want to kick and scream and cry and can't help but wonder what this world is coming to.
People, this is too much!
It's not about our minds going to the gutter when we saw little girls dressed in so little and gyrating on a dancefloor.
It's about why weren't more people shocked and disgusted enough to say something about it?
No trophy or prize should be worth letting go of your morals or values.
And what will happen once the girls reach the age where they DO understand what kind of dance moves they're performing? I mean, if their parents will allow them to do this dance, who's to say the next dance won't be as pervocative and pushing that envelope even further? What should we expect from these little girls, their parents and their instructors for the next WoD competition? An innocent graceful lyrical? It would be wonderful, but the problem is the position they've put themselves in. Now, that they've gone this route and done so well, people will want more!
I'm not trying to stifle these little girls dreams or creativity. On the contrary! I'm asking parents and instructors to get creative and bring innocence and wholesomeness BACK, not shove it off the deep end!
It seems like enough is never enough in our society.
Once PG-13 movies used to be rated such because it had an overly seductive kissing or makeout scene in it and the S-word would be shoved in and parents would cover their kids' eyes and ears.
Now, PG-13 movies have nudity and the F*bomb and that's ok, because we are all naked under our clothes and kids hear the F-word at school anyway.
We're desensitized to it all! This is our future, our up and coming leaders, our posterity that we're corrupting!
We need to take the blinders off and look around at the effect our choices have on others.
We need to quit drinking the kool-aid and get sober in this debacle we call our society!
We need to find our morals and values, dust them off and display them on our sleeves with pride!

*sighs heavily, steps off soapbox*

I just wish we as a whole, could see where we have come from and where we're headed.
It's not good.
This dance was not good for those little girls, (I won't even let my daughters watch this video).
If you're not disheartened, even a little, by watching this video, I'm sorry.
Truly, I am.
I don't mean to sound preachy or judgmental - not at all!
I am just hoping to bring light to a subject covered in darkness. I have a right to my opinion just like you do.
And my opinion is, it's sad.
Very sad.

LOL! I had no idea...

This is a survey all the kindergarteners answered about their moms.
These are Garrett's answers...


LOL!
... but the last one makes my heart super happy!

Delusional Valley: Revisited

Do you remember a while back I wrote about this guy?
Well, he apparently found his way back out of the Valley and came for another visit with us normal folk.

Picture it: I'm standing in the deli ordering lunch meat for tonight's hoagie bar. And you know when you get that feeling that you're being watched or followed? Well, I turn to see if someone was standing behind me breathing down my neck and drooling or staring at me from across the produce section.
No one stood out to me.
So, I grab the bagged meat and turn to go.
When, lo and behold, there stands not 6 inches from me 40-ish Year Old Overweight Creepy Bearded Man. (Although, I didn't recognize him right off, but I knew he looked familiar to me.)
I nearly jump out of my skin because he startled me so, and decided he was the one who gave me the watched feeling I had and must have used his stealthy Chick Pick-up Jet 3000 to zip himself over to me unnoticed like he did. Either that or he borrowed Harry Potter's invisibility cloak.
"Excuse me," he stops me with a finger pointed on his chin and a look of confusion and I can already tell he's going to ask me some lame question, probably about how to pick the best melons...
"But can you tell me what Bavarian-filled Bismarks are?"
I pause, partly because I'm grateful he didn't ask about melons and partly because I haven't a clue as to what those stupid things are.
"Umm, no, I'm sorry I can't."
I look over my shoulder for an escape route.
"Well, " he begins again and motions to a white bakery box in his buggy, "I just wondered. I'm actually looking for something strawberry-filled, but I'm not sure I've got the right thing here."
I peek from a distance in the clear window of the box and notice that they were donuts, obviously cream-filled of some kind, and completely drenched in an artery-clogging glaze.
"They look good, [gagging] but I'm sorry, I don't know what they are filled with." I smile and start making my towards the frozen foods as I had this uncontrollable urge to start putting things I didn't need in my buggy.
"Well, thank you anyway", he says and I get a few steps away.
[*sigh* Home-free!]
"By the way...",
(crap!...Crap! Crap!! CRAP!!!), he continues..."You sure are cute."
That's the moment it hit me. I knew him, alright. This was the same man who tried to pick me up in the chip aisle a few months back!
I couldn't believe it. What are the odds of the same dude using the same cheesy pick-up lines on the same girl in the same grocery store and getting the same sad rejection? Apparently for this guy, the odds are pretty high. How could they not be? He probably uses his Fridays to scope out the grocery stores and find a way to use the same line on a different girl in every aisle!
So, it stands to reason that I knew exactly what was coming out of his mouth next...
"I'm single by the way," he states as he clumsily tries to lean on his buggy handle, elbow slipping off once, then, trying to recover, smiles devilishly at me.
By this time, every other man within earshot of our conversation has groaned to himself, is hanging streamers for the pity party they are throwing for the guy, or is taking notes on what not to do to pick up a girl in the produce aisle.
Unfortunately, I can't think of anything else to say but the predictable give-my-identity-away-and-embarrass-this-dude answer,
"Well, I'm not!"
I saw every light in the attic come on for him as he exclaims, "Ah!" and straightens his posture booking it to the nearest exit.
I almost felt sorry for him and I might have even given him a few pointers on how to use those pick up lines more efficiently if he didn't just completely wig me out. Seriously, just hearing his voice in my head makes my spine tingle.
And don't get me wrong - not every guy who tries to talk to me or even pick me up gets that kind of judgment or reaction from me. (They all get a form of rejection, OBVIOUSLY, but not one so harsh as I deal to 40-ish Year Old Overweight Creepy Bearded Man).
*sigh*
Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.

Baby Bird Blues

Today my son, a girlfriend of mine and I were outside playing in the front yard when we noticed our neighbor's dog (which very similarly resembles a child in desperate need of attention from his owners who already give him more than enough), chasing what appeared to be a leaf.

[The dog will be called "Max" from here on out as I feel this name is appropriate for his personality. He maxes us all out of patience here in our quiet little neighborhood.]

Nevertheless, we giggled at the cute little doggie playing and I mumbled under my breath to my friend, "That dog is something else."

The "leaf" bounced and fluttered a few feet from the tree from which it fell coming to rest and then being pounced on again by Max shortly thereafter.

Max didn't play with it necessarily but rather just stood over it waiting for the next breeze to pick it up and try to move it to its next destination just a few feet away.

Up the "leaf" went and there went Max to chasing it.

As it flittered and fluttered this time, I noticed unusual movement...for a leaf.

(It's a good thing I'm so observant. *rolls eyes*)

My girlfriend asked, "Is that a bird?"

"I don't think so?" I replied in question form.

But my friend was right and it didn't take long to come to the horrific realization that the "leaf" was actually an undercover baby birdie fallen from his nest just trying to stay hidden in the grass until his mother could come rescue him. And the little dog with too little too much attention had blown his little birdie cover.

I quickly rushed over but not before Max snatched him up in his mouth and was carrying him away.

As I chased the dog all the while trying to coax him to drop the innocent creature I rounded the corner just to see his owner there watering plants. She looked perplexed as to why I was chasing her pet with hands folded in prayer fashion. I explained what Max had in his mouth and she immediately told him to drop it, to which Max promptly let the little guy fall to the ground and ran off to find another less troublesome toy.

I walked over with my son to survey the damage. Little Birdie Blue was slobbery and shaking and had hopped to a couple rocks and stuck his little baby bird head in between them hoping he was sufficiently hidden from any further attacks.

I scooped him up (I know - a no-no worthy of a head-to-toe shower in anti-bacterial soap and tons of germ training hours had that been one of my children) and carried him back to the tree from which I thought he fell and foolishly hoped the nest was within reasonable reach.

It wasn't.

In fact, I saw no nest at all.

My son decided we should take Little Birdie Blue inside and see if our conure, Steve, would take care of him.

Hmm...worth a shot.

"Steve, meet Little Birdie Blue." I said as I shoved the little guy in Steve's beaked face.

In perfect unison with my offering gesture, our conure leaned back as far away from the little foreigner as was physically possible. I pulled the trembling baby bird closer to me as Steve straightened back up simultaneously. I pet the little birdie so Steve can see I love our visitor and he should, too.

I slowly gave Steve the chance to be sociable again.

The same cold reaction, only this time he squawked something that sounded like "What the heck!" and flew out of the room.

I sighed.

"Garrett go get some bread." (This is the extent of knowledge I have of birds; that birds fly in groups - hence the confusion as to why Steve didn't like the newcomer - and that anytime I throw bread outside, birds eat it. So why shouldn't this little guy love something yummy in his tummy?).

I figured he was cold in our house with the air conditioner going full blast, so I opted to take him outside and feed him under our pergola.

He wasn't hungry.

Garrett asked to eat the bread so as not waste it. "No way, Jose!" and I made him break it up and throw it in the yard, much to his disappointment. I got distracted watching him and the little bird jumped right out of my hands and began a frantic flittering, falling, bouncing, hopping act to get across the yard.

I stood back to watch him and see if he knew where to go so maybe I could find his nest.

I watched him bounce.

Flutter.

Fall.

Hop.

Get pummelled by my cat from out of nowhere!

Garrett nearly sucked all the air out of the southern region of Oklahoma when he gasped from sheer shock.

I was all over that cat like stink on poo! My afternoon had turned into MISSION: Save Little Birdie Blue!

After a frantic dart-and-grab foot race around the yard, I was finally able to catch my feline huntress. I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and shook her gently so she'd let the birdie go. As he fell to the ground, she growled at me in obvious disgruntlement and ran off. I looked at the birdie who was on his back in just-play-dead-mode and once again salivated heavily upon. I seemed to hear him yell, "Oh, the humanity!!"

You're right. You've been through enough today. If you were a cat, you'd be in debt with all your lives, I thought.

So, I opted to release him close by but, hopefully with some kind of feline forcefield considering the 4 of them had the yard flanked on all sides.

So, I went to take him back to his tree.

But Max was still searching for a new toy there.

I looked at the little birdie who was wide-eyed and sticky and decided to leave him in one of my other neighbor's big deep bushes surrounding his mailbox where there was hopefully plenty of cover for my Little Birdie Blue.

I said a little prayer for him and a safe return to his feathered family. About an hour later I heard a lot of bird commotion going on outside. I could just imagine the lecture he got from his mother after the initial hug and kiss upon finding him scarred but safe, no less.

Flittering back to the nest, "Just wait till your father gets home..."

Seashells by the Seashore Party

I feel like birthdays are a perfect time for showing my kids how much their presence in my life means to me. Because they bring me so much joy and happiness, I try to do this for them not just on their birthdays, but especially on their birthdays! My 10 year old is in love with anything and everything concerning rocks, seashells and things of the natural world. My first thought was, "Oo, I might get off cheap if I went with a rocks theme!" However, I wasn't coming up with any ideas, creatively-speaking, with the rocks bit so I turned my attention to seashells. The ideas started flowing and once I started digging around my house, I had more props and things to use than I had initially thought. So, not only did I come out on top with the creative-side (I think), but I didn't sink my budget either!

She handed out these invites to the girls at school. So easy to make and very inexpensive. Cellophane bag filled with sand (clearance item at Target...$4 for a huge tub of it. I used it throughout the whole party for different things and still have 90% of it left). I printed the invites on shimmery cream-colored cardstock which said "Abby is having a Day on the Beach birthday party at her house. 'Shell' be so happy to 'sea' you!" Then, I included the date and an RSVP number, but no address. This ensured the parents had to call me to get directions and this allowed me to get the name of the girls who were attending so I could put their monogram on their favor boxes (shown at the end of this post). I hot glued the paper to the shell base (it was the same length as the bottom of the shell so it fit perfectly). The large seashells I got at Hobby Lobby for $.50 each. I tied the bag closed with coral-colored ribbon and a silver fish charm ($.25 each). The whole invite cost me about $1. I had moms calling me just to tell me how cute the invite was even though their daughter wouldn't be able to attend the party. lol!

I decorated the dining room, which has always been the room that gets decorated for birthday parties. Old habits die hard, I guess. I hung seafoam green sheer ribbon and cream-colored pearl strands (both half off at Hobby Lobby) from the chandelier. The table was covered in a cream plastic tablecloth and ran an irridescent wrapping paper runner along the lenth of it. I then laid blue pearl strands along the length of the table as well. I had some glass candle holders that were beachy-looking that I added to the tablescape.

Each place setting had a large clear dinner plate and a smaller dessert plate. I set out silver buckets with sand in the bottom and placed their plastic stemwear inside along with cocktail party sticks I made using small wooden skewers (which ended up being like a $.01 each!) with a seashell or starfish I hotglued to the top. The silver plasticwear was wrapped in a cream-colored napkin and tied with the same seafoam green ribbon which I then glued a small starfish to. So simple and so effective for the overall look of the party!

Closer look at the place setting. I love how the irridescent paper just sparkled all day!

The cake!! Ok, so I'm no master cake maker and it's a good thing I didn't decide that was a love of mine that I wanted to pursue because I would've failed miserably at it!

This was supposed to be a 3-layer cake but for some odd reason, despite no difference in the way I cooked the individual layers, the middle medium-sized layer crumbled all to pieces when I popped it out of the pan. *frowning* However, the 2 layers still ended up being plenty for the girls. I made seashells from molds of white and peanut butter melting chocolate. I made coral from leftover white chocolate by piping it onto parchment paper and letting it harden in the fridge then popping it off and keeping it in an airtight container in the fridge. I sprinkled the entire cake, all the seashells and coral with edible pearl dust to add a measure of sparkle to the cake. It turned out beautiful, I think! I set it on top of a silver cake stand (which was really a silver drum-shaped potpourri holder from my Christmas stuff that I cleaned out and turned upside-down because I couldn't find my real wedding cake stand. lol!).

The luscious food buffet. I do LOVE a food buffet!

We had goldfish, swedish fish, keylime cookies and more chocolate seashells...

...there was blue Hawaiian Punch set on top of a cake stand filled with seashells and sand...

...and the shrimp cocktail was a hit! Glad I bought plenty. (This was the most expensive thing about the party. But well worth it since not a morsel was left.) I also served saltwater taffy and seasalt caramels.

Here we have shell pasta stuffed with tuna salad and I drizzled an alfredo sauce over it. I'll admit, the girls were not as excited about eating it as I had hoped they would be. But once one girl tried it and commented on how good they were, they all ate it up. *Whew!*

This was an idea I found online (don't remember where, sorry!). I put blue jello in a clear mini trifle cup and added a little swedish fish, let it set up in the fridge then, just before serving I added crushed graham crackers for the seashore sand and whipped cream for the ocean waves. So easy and so fun to look at!

From left to right: Molly, Julia, Riley, Haley, Abby (the birthday girl), Maddie and Daphne.

The birthday cake all lit up and ready for wishing!

For the activity, I gave each of the girls a paper mache frame (again, half off at Hobby Lobby) and a mini bottle of Elmer's glue ($1.27 ea), printed off some colorful ocean clipart and set out 2 packages of Pixie Sticks ($1 each and we only used one package). They traced the images in the glue and poured the pixie stick powder over it to make sand art to frame. I have never seen a quieter bunch of girls in my life! For 30 minutes, these girls did nothing but paint and glue and sprinkle hardly saying anything other than, "Please pass the purple paint." They loved it!

Painting their frames.

Time to open presents!!

One of the gifts her friends gave her. She was dared to wear it to school.

Mom, said no. lol!

These little favor boxes (by Martha Stewart) were a steal! I got them half off at TJ Max and the silver letters were an even greater deal, also on clearance. I filled them with bubbles and swedish fish. They were also allowed to take their cocktail picks and napkin rings which fit perfectly inside these. All in all these cost me about $2 each.

A look at the favor box opened. There's a perfect spot to write Thank You on the flap, but I had already found little cream-colored cards with scalloped edges that I decorated with sea-themed stickers. (Those cost about $1 each).

I hope you enjoyed this party (through pictures) as much as I enjoyed preparing it for my daughter and her friends and sharing it with you all!

It was a "Those Days" kind of morning...

Ok, so I had another one of "those days" yesterday. It seems like I have these days a bit more frequently than most people. I try to be positive and shove the little rain cloud in another direction.
That lasts about an hour.

I was doing some simple take-my-time grocery shopping, like I always do on Mondays, and picked up a package of shortbread cookies to look at the nutritional info on the back. I was holding the package securely (or so I led myself foolishly to believe) and would you believe those cookies did a somersault out of my hand?!
Of course you wouldn't.
You weren't there to see it.
But I'm not lying; the thing leapt from my hand and I must have looked like a complete nincompoop reaching and grabbing, fumbling over my own fingers (which had obviously morphed into a form of butter) for these cookies which were trying to spontaneously sprout wings and escape.
And it seemed like 10 minutes of the eternal hourglass slipped away as people passed gawking and giggling.
You could've charge admission to stand there and watch me perform my magical little juggling routine.
I can hear them comment now between gasping oos and awes:
"How does she do that?"
"She makes it look so easy!"
"I'm so glad we came today or we would have missed this!"
But alas, gravity stole the show and down tumbled the shortbread cookies onto the floor.
The crowd disappated in a nonclimactic shuffle of feet.
I picked up the package of cookies, which now sounded an awful lot like my crushed ego and placed them neatly back on the shelf.
(Of course I did!...I wasn't ever going to buy them. I was just curious about the nutritional info. Don't judge me, you've done the same thing.)

Moving on with my shopping, it seemed every corner I rounded there was an old lady or little kid just standing there. And after apologizing profusely for nearly mowing them down, I get stared at.
No, "It's ok, sweety."
No, "These aisles are so crowded anyway. Don't worry about it."
It's like they saw straight through me and knew I had no right being out in public today. I was a safety hazard to society.
So, upon arrival home (and not quite safe yet as I still have to make it in the house and put all my groceries away), I must have startled my greyhound because she knocked over the candle I had left burning spraying hot wax over a 3 foot diamter span of my hardwood floors. I watched helplessly as the pink wax began to harden. Piper looked sheepishly towards the backdoor for her escape into the refugee camp. I sighed and told her that I was the bad girl today for leaving the candle burning unattended.
Making my final trek back inside with apples and milk and carefully/prayerfully stepping over the wax swamp that was now my foyer, I began putting away all I had bought.
Eggs...success!
Gallon of milk...check!
Bread...not smashed!
Thing were looking up. So, I guess that's where I let my guard down.
Opening the bag of apples and tipping them into a large white bowl on my kitchen table should be fairly simple.
You'd think I'd get at least half in, right? Ah, but you have forgotten what day it is!
It is one of THOSE days and getting half the bag in is not allowed.
Apples bounced from table to chair to floor and all it seemed my brain knew how to do was reach and grab at apples randomly as they bounced back up to grabbing height. It was as if I had switched into Cartoon Network mode saying in a deep ditzy tone of voice, "Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?", looking from one apple to the next.
I finally gave up and just closed my eyes until I no longer heard thumping or rolling noises, then surveyed the damage. 5 apples down: 2 seriously wounded, 2 in critical condition and 1 fatality.
The fatality was dissected then, donated for hunger research.

I wanted to go to bed. I wanted to just wrap myself in a little cocoon and hibernate till I emerged a more useful human being for the day. But no, I still had one more thing to do.
Mission: DINNER FOR 8.
This is pretty nonclamactic as the only upheaval was that I dropped pineapple slices on the floor; not once, not twice, not even 3 times, but 5 - FIVE! - times on the floor.
No, I did not feed those to my guests. Those were victims of 4-legged scavengers hoping and praying for some morsel to be sacrificed on their behalf.
But still, I was cooking with a little invisible force field around me motioning to kids to leave the room slowly. It took me an extra hour to cook because I took the glass measuring cups from the cupboards extra cautiously. I sliced the meat as precisely as possible. I warmed and cooked things in the microwave, but then stood back from it just in case the rumors I used to hear about microwaves giving you brain cancer was true, even just for today. I talked myself out of taking random cold showers because I was afraid of spontaneously combusting.
I survived.
And it is a new day...and it has been much better.
(Upon the ending of this post as I proofread it to Mr. Simpleton, he reminded me -through stifled laughter- that I also burnt the rolls for yesterday's dinner. And now you know why I call him Mr. Simpleton.)

Little Boy Blue's Midnight Stroll

A few nights ago while I was in bed reading, my son came walking down the hall towards me. His bedroom door leads out and straight down the hall to my bedroom door. It was nearly midnight and I thought his train departed for Dreamland hours ago. So, I was surprised to see him up. Thinking he must have either had a bad dream or felt the urge to visit the bathroom, I asked him what was wrong.
He shoved his hands clumsily into his pockets and shook his head. He does this when he doesn't want to talk about whatever is bothering him.
"Is everything ok, buddy?" I asked.
Again, I got the same jerky shake of the head and shrug of the shoulders. His face was pinkish on one side and there were the distinct lines of a pillow playdate on his face. His hair was stuck up on the right side and slightly wet from the warm perspiration of a deep comfortable sleep with too many blankets.
He stood there staring at the floor and I wasn't sure if he was truly awake or not.
"Do you need to go to the restroom?" I asked. No reply. Just staring. He tried to scratch his nose with his shoulder.
I concluded he was asleep.
"Hey buddy, I think you're sleepwalking. Let's go back to bed, ok", and I began to get up to help him with the treacherous journey by foot back to Dreamland. With hands still shoved deep into the abyss of his pockets he zig-zaggedly walks towards me. I sit back down not sure what to expect as he climbs on the bed collapsing on my belly and lays his head on my chest. Almost instantly he is snoring.
I giggled under my breath while I stroked his hair back into place and wondered why they ever have to grow up at all.

"Le Pastiche"

In french, Le Pastiche means "a collection of artwork". I've had this vision of owning my own little store that houses all of my creative endeavors and just recently took the first few steps up the Hill of Trial and Error to see how it works out. I rented a mini booth in a little catch-all store downtown called Bremar's. I was given a couple shelves and told to decorate how I wanted.

What you see below is a glimpse into my vision.

Below are some glittery houses I made to look like the cool vintage ones you see for a fortune online. Also pictured is a Pail of Posies with the words "wish", "dream" and "love" planted inside.

Here we have some handmade gift tags and mixed media art.

The blue thing in the background with yellow tabs sticking out is an original Paper Bag Album. It's a scrapbook made from brown paper bags and stuffed full of tags and nooks and crannies, pockets and pullout pages for all of your precious memories to be stored. I do take custom orders, so if you would like one in a particular theme just let me know. The one pictured here is Beach-themed.

Here is a shot of some of the Easter goodies I have mixed in with a few other fun things. A "Bunny Baker" trinket keepsake box, a green glittered egg on a bed of vintage velvet leaves, and "Peeping Chicks" spring egg. The bottle in the back is full of Journal Inspirations - tiny popscicle sticks with some vintage, some modern charms dangling from the end. This could also be used as an excellent ice-breaker game. And last but not least, the pink and silver glittery box up front is a mini jewelry box with a necklace inside. Too cute to describe in words, so go buy and check it out.

Pictured here is a Fairy Dress Mannequin made with pink glitter ribbon, vintage gold wing findings, and vintage velvet leaves from an old millnery. And another pretty keepsake box.

Handmade pomander balls. I can make these in custom colors for your party or wedding. Just give me a week's notice as they do take a while to make.

Another angle of my little space.

This is some of what's left of my unique jewelry line. I'm in the process of making more goodies for you!

And what occasion would be complete without a handmade greeting? Be it Christmas, a birthday or anniversary, Thank You, Get Well or Just Because, I have a card for everyone on your list. Again, don't see a card to fit your fancy, let me know and I'll make one specifically for your taste.