Thursday, May 22, 2008

Say It Isn't So...

So, in the wake of another school year ending, I woke up this morning and realized that my son will be starting school in August.
That's like 7 weeks.
That's just around the corner.
That would be no big deal except that... leaves me a lone woman in the house of Mason!
No one to make breakfast for.
No one to turn cartoons on for.
No one to give early-morning, mid-morning, late-morning, early-afternoon, mid-afternoon and late-afternoon snacks to.
No one to entertain me and give me inspiration while I sit at my artist chair trying to create my next great masterpiece.
And I guess I could kiss myself on the cheek at nap time but it just doesn't seem right.

I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Everyone keeps telling me, "Oh, you'll get used to it," or "You'll find something to do, honey."
I'm sure I will. That's the problem. I'm worried that I'll find TOO much to do and before you know it, online shopping will have become my 24 hour therapist.
Seriously, if you were smart you'd buy stock in things like eBay, the Gap, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret and Bath & Body Works because come late August when the stocks go up tremendously you'll be thankful you took my advice now (and thankful for bored stay-at-home moms like myself later).
Maybe I can enroll Piper, my greyhound, into some obedience training or swimming classes? I mean, she is almost 8, but I don't believe the whole 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' adage.

And my cats; don't they have kitty socialization classes I could take them to? Nevermind, they'd maul somebody.

It's hopeless. I'm doomed; destined for days filled with Oprah, Dr. Phil and a pint of Schwan's Caramel Cashew ice cream.
Am I going to be one of those moms caught sneaking in to the school peeking in classroom doors to spy on their child?

Am I going to be one of those moms who signs up to be a substitute teacher and specifically asks to sub for my child's teacher or any adjoining teachers' rooms?
Am I going to be one of THOSE moms?

...yeah, I probably will.


You Are Basil

You are quite popular and loved by post people.

You have a mild temperament, but your style is definitely distinctive.

You are sweet, attractive, and you often smell good.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

All you need is....

Momentarily Non-Fictional Mother's Day

You like?
Me, too. Happy Mother's Day to me!!

Notice the windows and how you can see straight through with no visual obstructions such as handprints or dog slobber...

Notice the interior, the floors, the seats and how they are clean every wit and without blemish...

Notice that there is not one single piece of trash, not one gum wrapper, not one empty juice carton or sticky half-eaten sucker stuck to any part of the console...

Notice the cargo space is empty. No school books, no empty grocery bags, no pet hair from vet trips, no clothes from last month's sleepover...

Notice the back dent from backing into an old man in a whale of an Oldsmobile in the pouring down rain on the last day of school...

Notice the front it sparkles. It's smiling at me.

Notice these things and refer to these pictures often. Because by the time you read this, it will be a fictitious blog.

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