Sunday, February 24, 2008

It Consumeth Me

Any of you have little girls? Scratch that...who am I kidding? It doesn't have to be just little girls. Do any of you have children? Have they been given gifts recently? Were they given Barbies? Tonka Trucks? Playdough, maybe? Perhaps, they were given a little furry creature so soft to the touch you think it could melt with one more stroke? And did this furry little creature happen to have a nifty little tag on it? And on that nifty little tag was there a nifty little code that is the key to an amazing little realm called...

***Webkinz World!?***

Have you been there? I have. It is a magical place filled with lights and sounds and colors and adorable little animals running, hopping and flying around playing games and having all kinds of fun.

You see, what happens is on your birthday or some other special occasion, a friend or family member buys you a pet Webkinz, you type in the code at their website and voila! You have just adopted yourself a pet, complete with birth certificate and adoption papers. It is yours to nurture, feed, clothe, bathe and play with.

But it is more than just play. You have to keep your pet active with routine workouts and you must keep it healthy with regular check-ups at Dr. Quack's office. You have to get jobs to earn money such as delivering newspapers, flipping hamburgers, babysitting and painting fences so you can buy furniture and food.

You even have go to school and get your pet a degree. (A Pet Degree, get it? say it 3x fast.). The more activities you do with your pet the happier it will be and the more it will love you.


...if you forget about your adopted friend or don't visit often enough, it can die. That's right. One day you go to login and all of a sudden you're not allowed. You have to adopt a new Webkinz. It is a sad day in Webkinz World and you're the worst parent ever.

It is a great tool for children as a "pre-pet" to learn the ins and outs of the responsibilities having a pet requires before the real Fluffy comes along.

But can you see what the master-minds of Webkinz World have done to an obessive-compulsive-animal-loving mother like myself?! They've snagged me in their precisely laid webs of intrigue. They must have seen me, and other moms like me, coming. We naturally loving and nurturing individuals whose hearts go out to all the helpless, innocent little furry creatures in all the shelters and on all shelves across the world in need of a home, didn't stand a chance. They're so adorable and their little beady eyes seem to stare straight through to my soul and speak to my inner conscience:

"Please, lady. Take us home. It's no fun here just sitting on shelves with nothing to do. We promise to be good pets and make no messes. We just want a home to call our own. All the other Webkinz have sweet little children to play with them and tuck them in at night. Why can't we have that, too? Doesn't anyone love us?"

*To the lady behind the counter; I point beyond her*

"I'll take the golden retriever, the brown clydesdale and the bunny. Oh, and the duck. And the terrier."

I wrap them in frilly little boxes with holes poked in the top so they can still breathe. When the gift-giving day arrives I am shoving little boxes in my child's face.

"Here, honey, open this one. This one, too. Hurry!"

As she slips off the bow and tears off the wrapping paper, I've aready flipped the lid off the box and snatched the creature. In a flash, I have fled to the study and am at the entrance of Webkinz World typing in the secret code.

It has got me. I am addicted. There is no turning back. I have decided - every Webkinz deserves a home. And if ours is it, I will sacrifice closet room to make room in my heart and our home for these innocent little creatures.

I urge you today, go out and adopt yourself a Webkinz or a Lil' Kinz. Your life will forever be changed. And if your child already has one, tonight after you put them to bed remember...

I'll be playing Checkers in the Tournament Arena. Send me an invite.


okmft said...

My girls love them too, and now Asher (boy, age 3) wants one too. Very nice (and safe) online experience for kids, with some social networking...a friend of Aspen's sent her (via Webkinz) a meal for her pet the other day. Lots of fun!

Best wishes,

Steph said...

Like Geoff said my kiddos love them too! However, you are more generous than I am! I will only let them have one! :)

BakerBloggers-Matt & Jenny said...

I have no idea what these things are.
They sound as hard as having a real live pet (gasp). I'll have to look up the website and see. Chances are decent though I'll still be safe from these lovable? creatures at my house. Ben 10 still reigns supreme!

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