Saturday, December 27, 2008

Just another day...

Today I...

got out of bed
stubbed my toe on the bathroom wall
after saying "OW!" out loud, realized I had a sore throat
spent 15 minutes deciding what to wear
stared at my shoe rack for 10 additional minutes
brushed my teeth
put on my makeup
changed my clothes
asked husband if I should wear hair down or up - he said down
I put my hair up
changed my shoes
switched out my purses to match my outfit
made up the bed with husband
picked up dirty clothes and hangers
picked up trash from Christmas on my bedroom floor
realized I'd been up for 45 minutes and had not made it out of my bedroom yet
went downstairs to eat breakfast
stared in the fridge for 5 minutes
decided to skip breakfast
marked off my to-do list "eat breakfast"
started a load of laundry
marked off my to-do list "start laundry"
picked up clutter all over downstairs
marked off my to-do list "pick up clutter"
straightened askew living room furniture
wondered why I had to straighten askew living room furniture
eyeballed the dogs
let them out to potty
watched dogs potty
started washing dishes
remembered I have 4 children
called children downstairs to wash dishes
joyfully marked off to-do list "wash dishes" 
broke up a cat fight between big black cat and calico cat
put big black cat outside
let little black cat inside
held and pet little black cat
realized it rained last night
sighed heavily
dried little black cat off
changed clothes
switched out purses again to match new outfit
decided to go to movies with kids and husband
husband said hurry
kids go same speed as always but say they ARE hurrying
husband asked children to find all 4-legged creatures and put them outside
found 3 of the 5 creatures
remembered 1 was already outside
found 5th creature - pried her off satin vanity stool
mission accomplished
we gathered at the front door
husband gets phone call
I say don't answer
he answered
we waited 20 minutes
kids scatter and are lost
saw grass from outside in the foyer
it annoyed me
got broom and swept entire downstairs
marked off my to-do list "sweep downstairs"
husband hangs up phone
located children with tracking device (i.e. snacks)
opened front door
karate chopped and ninja kicked animals away from door
piled in the car
fussed about seating arrangement
husband lost
drove to Sherman
went to eat at Olive Garden
ate something I have not eaten in years
remembered why I had forbidden myself to eat it in the first place
vowed never to eat it again
blamed lack of control on "that time of the month"
felt justified
went to see Marley & Me
laughed some more
cried some more
guy next to me told me he had kleenex for sale 2 for $1
I laughed
secretly scowled at man next to me
tried not to cry again
left the movies
husband went to work
made weekly menu
made Wal-Mart list
organized cookbook shelf
found food magazine I had not looked through yet
read food magazine
changed weekly menu
made new Wal-Mart list
fed children dinner
told children to watch TV
sat on couch to relax
heard strange and very loud noises upstairs
asked 4 children what was going on
got 4 different answers
asked politely if they would stop
heard 3 "yes ma'am's" and a "yes sir"
sat on couch and tried to relax again
made to-do list for tomorrow
heard running upstairs
asked children if they were running from Sasquatch
got no reply
asked children if Sasquatch ate them
heard "who's Sassy Squash?"
told children to be quiet or I was Sassy Squash and would eat them
decided trying to relax was useless
laid out food for tomorrow to thaw
remembered I am out of milk, eggs, potatoes, basically anything worthy of cooking a meal with
decided to lay out my clothes for tomorrow to try and save time in the morning
laughed at myself
put clothes back in closet
wondered why I do that
contemplated it being a disease and wondered if it had a name or a pill
realized it wouldn't matter because I'd be in denial that I even had a disease in the first place
decided to go to bed
sent children to bed first
1 hour passed before all 4 children were located and secured
changed into pj's
began reading new book husband got me for Christmas
heard scratching and big black cat meowing outside
got out of warm bed
let big black cat in
dog rushed out
watched dog go potty
let dog in
dog wanted treat
tried to find treats
gave dog last mini blueberry muffin instead
wondered where that was this morning for breakfast
got back in now cold bed
picked up book again
big black cat jumped on bed 
big black cat laid in front of book - blocked view
big black cat drooled on book
I put book down
turned out lights
little black cat jumped on bed, annoyed big black cat
made cats get off bed
listened to cats play-fight for 30 minutes
contemplated how wonderful my life is
thanked my Heavenly Father


Super Kate said...

THAT'S how you do it all...with LISTS!!!! I must remember that.

Matt Baker said...

OK... seriously, I was so engaged with this post I just loved it! I experienced every emotion. Fun read (even though I made fun of it on Jon's FB page ;) )

BakerBloggers-Matt & Jenny said...

Wow. That's quite a day. And yet, not. Just another day in the life of a mom/wife. Hard to believe that much happens. It made me feel better not to see "Jon saw dishes and mopping on my list and decided to do those two".

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